Anyone who has been to a wedding shower in the last 10 years has heard of the “Date Jar”. Usually guests write date ideas on popsicle sticks and put them in a jar the couple can draw out of once a week or month. It sounds good in theory, but I always wondered if it actually works out for people. Sure it’s cute, but is it practical? You may balk at the idea as “cheesy” or even point out the flaws, but hear me out on the why and how this can actually be really helpful for your marriage.
The WHY?
Last month Jon and I got to a place where we honestly couldn’t remember the last time we just had fun together. I mean it had been months. How is that for something to admit? Y’all, I know we’re not the only couple who got into a SERIOUS rut with date nights and just appreciating each other in the midst of the Covid-crazies! With all of the very serious problems and issues going on in society we desperately needed to connect in a fun way and leave the serious conversations at home. (Not that there isn’t a time and place for them!)
The HOW?
Step 1: Get two sheets of paper and pens.
Step 2: Write 10 date night ideas EACH! (His & Hers)
Step 3: Rip or cut them up, fold and put in a jar. (or cup, or bowl, or whatever you have!)
Step 4: 1st of the month the husband draws from the date jar and has two weeks to plan it. 15th of the month the wife draws a date and plans accordingly.
It’s that easy! Set yourself up for success and just do it with what you have. The best system is one you will actually stick to! Don’t wait until you have cute paper, or a cute jar… Just do it!
The Realistic Date Jar Rules:
- Keep it at $30!
- Set a 2 hour time limit!
- No screens allowed!
Keep it cheap! It’s about connecting and you want to be able to do it even when money is tight. If time is tight carve out these two hours and invest in each other. Obviously, you can go longer on occasion, but keep expectations attainable! The last rule is my favorite. Connect to each other, that’s the point. This means even movie dates are off limits. Not much connecting happening in a theater and that phone wont keep you warm at night, just saying!
What does the date jar do?
I’m being transparent here: We’re walking through a difficult season, as are a lot of people right now. They come and go, and sometimes they stick around way longer than you would like. I have no doubt there will be tough, maybe even tougher seasons in the future, (God give us strength!) but in between those difficult moments you need fun relationship building experiences to help fill up your tanks. For us, it was time to make new inside jokes and new memories. Hopefully when the storms come in the future we will have these experiences and relationship building moments to draw back on and remember we love each other and we’re on the same team. For Life!
My dearest dear, be intentional in cultivating your marriage. I cant stress how important it is. I’ll post pictures of our dates to give you some ideas, but I would love to hear about what you come up with and maybe I’ll even add it to ours!
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